


People: Good vs Bad

by RedXD



Series: Danplan New Girl AU [2]
Category: DanPlan, New Girl, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Arguments, Fighting, Guns, Landlords, New Girl au, Safe For Work, Slight mature themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-14 15:47:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19276426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedXD/pseuds/RedXD
Summary: New Girl AU--Hosuh and Stephen fight over whether people are good or bad.





	People: Good vs Bad

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone wants to suggest a Newgirl episode or event that they want a oneshot on for this AU lemme know in the comments (Mainly bc i dont know which episodes I want to write)

Hosuh frowns tightly.

“Hey, hey, hey, man! THIS IS MY SPOT!” Stephen’s yell fills his ears.

In front of them is another car, frozen in a turn towards the same parking spot both of them were turning into.

A war of honks play.

“I was here first!”

The other man yells his response. “That’s my space, huh?”

Stephen makes a middle finger at the guy. “This isn’t fucking Europe!” He then speaks normally with a shoving aside gesture, “Move.”

Hosuh looks at him and frowns more. “Come on, come on Stephen- Maybe he’s a really nice guy.”

He gestures to the other vehicle and smiles hopefully at the purple-haired male. “He’s just having a bad day?”

The other groans slightly. “I don’t care if he’s a nice guy-“

Another honk.

“Get that piece of crap out of my space!”

The beginnings of a twisting stomach form in Hosuh’s belly. He feels tension bite at his shoulders and worry sliming up his legs.

“Don’t..”

Stephen starts to scream again. “C’mon dude. Why don’t you come in here, take my pants off, and kiss my ass-“

A gun is pulled into view. The only things between said gun and them being two car front windows and the air above the parking spot.

_Oh god-_

The pair screams, getting down.

“OH MY GOD!”

The echoing voice of the guy fills the air. “What do you got to say now, huh?”

Hosuh remembers a movie scene and chirps in panic, “Oh god this is like The Wire!”

The boy besides him sounds much more serious. “He has a gun. He has a gun, stay down.”

He moves his head up a bit to glare at Hosuh. “You still think he’s a nice guy, Hosuh?!”

The stranger in the other vehicle chimes in a, “That’s what I thought!”

However, the silver-haired male purses his lips. “Maybe no one’s ever been nice to him! Maybe violence is his only tool to express himself!” He sits up and waves to the other driver.

Stephen yells, “What are you doing?! Get the fuck down-“

“Hi!” Hosuh grins. He waves again with another, “Hi!” to the driver.

Said driver looks confused and just stares.

“What are you doing? Don’t kill us, I still have to become president and fuck over a bunch of people-“ Stephen growls.

Ignoring him, Hosuh makes a bunch of different gestures as he speaks. “Don’t use guns!-“

“Stop it, just stop it!” The other wacks him. He gestures to the other driver himself. “Sorry! Just take the damn spot!”

Instead of stopping, he simply points at Stephen and smiles apologetically. “Sorry about this guy. He’s overreacting-“

“I’m overreacting?! He has a fucking gun-“

He shrugs and continues to smile brightly. “We’re sorry!”

“He has a gun and you’re dressed like a bullseye-“

The gun is moved and slid into the driver’s pocket. He begins to pull out.

“Thank you sir!”

The car drives off, leaving the spot open for them.

Stephen looks at the spot the car was just in as if he’d seen the craziest thing. “The fuck? How did that actually work?!”

Hosuh huffs. “You just see the worst in people.”

—

Grumbling, the pair walk into their loft.

“Oh, you’re always starting fights with everyone, Stephen.” Hosuh frowns. “I mean not everyone’s out to get you.”

He stops in front of the kitchen island where Dan and Jay sit.

Stephen rolls his eyes. “He had a gun Hosuh!”

_Humanity is the worst, why can’t he see that?_

“He was literally out to get me!”

Sighing, the silver-haired male turns to their other two roommates. “Isn’t Stephen the most negative person you’ve ever met?”

Daniel nods, taking another bite of his meal. “Absolutely, and you know what? It all pools up right in that little sadness center below his belly button.”

He glares at the green-haired bastard, leaning against the counter. How is he negative? It isn’t negative if it’s true. Every person to exist is a bitch that you can’t trust. Logic.

Jay shrugs. “I mean he’s not wrong, though. His life is genuinely terrible.”

Ignoring that comment, Stephen turns to the other. “You know what, Hosuh?” He brings his hand up into the air, gesturing in mild frustration. “I guess I don’t live in a world where I smile, and people do what I want them to do.”

Hosuh chirps a, “You never smiles,” as he washes his hands.

Frowning, he mumbles, “A smile is a sign of weakness.”

Suddenly, the sink whirs with a clutching, grinding type sound causing Hosuh’s eyes to go round. He jumps back swiftly.

“No!”

Breathing out gruffly, Stephen reaches over to a shelf and grabs the ‘plumbing stick’ of which Dan calls an abomination.

“All right, everybody relax.” He slacks on over to the sink and shoves the tool down the sink before shaking it and moving it furiously. He releases all the pent up anger from this morning, going ham on that sink disposal. The counter and sink clanks loudly until he tears the plumbing stick from the sink with a war cry like, “Get out!”

He turns off the disposal with a quick flick of the switch. “It’s fixed.” He throws the plumbing stick back on top of the shelf. Every movement is casual, he’s used to doing that every other week or so.

Hosuh shakes his head. “Okay, Stephen, I’m calling the landlord.. This is ridiculous.”

The words shake the room. Dan and Jay whip their heads up and shake their skulls annoyingly.

“Don’t call the landlord.” He purses his lips, scrunching up his face in hate. “We don’t need him here, he’s a jerk.”

The other’s eyes flash with morality. “See this is an example. Maybe you never gave him the chance to show you what a great guy he is.”

Immediately, both Jay and Dan shake their heads.

“No, Hosuh, he sucks.”

“Yeah, he’s a terrible person.” Jay coughs, almost to a breathy laugh.

Crossing his arms, Stephen narrows his eyes. “Don’t call the landlord, I’m serious.”

Hosuh’s jaw clenches. “Okay.”

—

The room is dim, the walls looking like they haven’t been cleaned in years. Even so, he continues through.

_I’m sure the landlord has a heart of gold in there._

He holds the plate of cookies (a peace offering) carefully. The sound of scraping echoes. As he walks around the corner, he sees a middle aged man with hair already threatening to go gray.

Said male is sharpening a knife on a thin wooden stick of a broom.

Stepping slowly and cautiously, Hosuh smiles and knocks on the wall. “Knock knock, Mr. Landlord?”

He sets down the plate of cookies, and stands straightly. “Um, I don’t know if you appreciate cookies, but they’re still warm so..”

Silence. The other continues carving.

Crossing his arms awkwardly, he clears his throat. “Lovely office.” Looking around quickly, he begins a compliment.

“I like your... “ He glances at a bucket. “Bucket of.. Gasoline.” His nose wrinkled at the smell, but he holds his smile in place anyways. “It’s super practical.”

Voice cracking just barely, he smiles tighter. “What do you have there?”

The landlord stops his action and finally turns to look at him. “Broom.” He deadpans.

After a few seconds of tense silence, the landlord stands up and Hosuh decides to try and bring up his reason for being here.

“So, I live in, um, 4D… There are a lot of real safety hazards in our loft.” Lips quivering, he smiles hopefully. “Nothing a little ‘landlording’ couldn’t fix..? What do you say?”

“No.”

The older male sits down and stares intently at an open book of what seems to be apartment details of some sort.

Water drips, echoing itself.

Smiling, a bit more forced this time, Hosuh turns around ready to give up. He sees a small stick figure drawing of a guy and a girl on the wall.

“That’s a sweet picture- How old are your kids?” He smiles cheerfully.

“I did that.” The landlord motions to the picture.

A tinge of guilt hits Hosuh, but he doesn’t falter yet.

“It’s me and my ex wife.”

More silence.

“Oay, you know what? Um, my roommates are really scared of you, but I know you’re a good man, and I know you don’t want the four of us living in a dangerous apartmen-”

“The four of you?” That causes the landlord to gaze up.

“Apartment 4D, there’s only supposed to be three people.”

_Oh shit-_

He tries to backpedal, panic settling in. “Oh, did I say four? You know what? I was counting myself twice. It’s so easy to do.. ‘Big personality’ over here so..” His words turn to mutters. “Gonna go..”

—

A knocking causes the entire group to freeze. “It’s Remy, open up.”

Stephen’s forehead creases, “Did you talk to the landlord?”

The group of green, blonde, and purple turns into frantic yelling.

“Okay it’s happening- Go go go!”

Dan starts repeating, “Call me Ginny, Ginny! I’m Ginny.”

They all move fast towards Dan’s room.

“We’ll be right there!”

Hosuh rushes to the balcony doors and open them speedily.

“This is what we trained for guys!”

Jay and Stephen carry the mattress throwing it onto the balcony. Dan follows behind with folded clothes and pillows. He then grabs a chair from the dining table and rolls it towards his room.

“Told you we didn’t practice this enough!” Stephen shakes his head, running to the door. “Hosuh, close those up!”

The door opens, Remy walks in looking at Stephen and Jay.

“Brad, James.”

Grabbing a random suitcase, Dan rushes to the door and Hosuh is at his side ‘saying farewell.’

Talking in a heavy fake accent, the green-haired male waves, “Oh, hello!” The pair laugh nervously.

“Ginny!”

“Ah, I had such nice time visiting in Los Angeles.” They start pushing him out the door. “So many fancy people with their fancy lives.”

“Hollywood!” He grins and walks out the door.

Stephen forces a smile, “Oh I’ll miss him.”

Remy looks at them all unamused. “So someone told me you have four people living here.”

He starts walking around and as they enter Jay’s room, Dan freezes from behind a chair.

  
“Ah train to Panama all sold out, must be the Mardi Gras..”

The group looks down in shame.

“Good god, what is this.”

The landlord opens the closet and stares horrifically at the alien galaxy paint spread throughout the back of the closet.

“Why would you do this?”

“For science- I don’t know..”

“Paint over it.” He shakes his head. “Or you pay for it.”

They all move back to the front entryway.

“To be honest, I was expecting a lot worse.. Four people is fine. Just paint over the alien demon wall and don’t bother me.”

He walks towards the door, but Hosuh steps forward.

“Wait- Sir-”

“Hosuh, let him go-”

“I just wanna apologize on behalf of all of us, for lying.. But while you’re up here, you might as well just fix a few things?”

Silence.

“Please.. Remy?” Hosuh smiles encouragingly at him.

“How did you know my name? They call you?” He demands defensively.

“I saw your tattoo.. It says ‘Hello, my name is Remy.’ and I just took a leap of faith..”

Sighing, he runs a hand through his hair. “Look, I know you’re a good guy-”

Remy sighs himself and nods reluctantly. “Alright, what do you need fixed?”

Stephen glowers. “Why don’t you close your eyes and point at something?”

The landlord simply glares. “Him. Not you.”

Hosuh glances around at Stephen, a small smile of victory in place.

While the purple-haired male scrunches up his face and frowns.

—

Hosuh listens as Remy talks about his divorce while working on the broken closet door in his room.

“Okay, give it a try.”

So that’s what he does. He tries sliding it open, but it doesn’t budge.

“Here, I’ll help.” Remy walks and leans in behind him, pulling at the door above him.

However, a voice stops them both.

“Okay, that’ll do it.”  
  
The pair glance to see Stephen in the doorway.

“Hey Hosuh, can I talk to you?”

“Yeah sure.”  
  


The silver-haired male walks with the other to the kitchen.

“Ready to admit you were wrong? People can be good.”

Stephen stares blankly before motioning to the hallway. “That man wants to sleep with you.”

A flush of heat swells up in Hosuh’s cheeks.

_What the heck-_

“No he doesn’t?!”

“Yes, he does-”

“He was just helping me with my closet-”

Stephen holds up a hand to indicate no more talking. He crosses his arms. “Okay anytime someone helps or does anything from behind, it’s just an excuse for them to get really close and breathe on your neck. Watch any sports movie.”

“That is not a thing-”

“You mind picking up that mug?” He raises a pointed eyebrow.

Hosuh frowns and turns halfway, picking up the mug. Stephen starts to walk behind him.

“Here let me show you. No, no, I’ve been doing this for years.” He smirks. He practically hugs Hosuh from behind, wrapping his hand around his.

“See, the way to pick up the mug is like that.” He nudges closer. “You just gotta relax into it-”

The silver-haired male spins around angrily. “He wasn’t doing that!”

His mouth sets in a hard line. “That’s exactly what he was doing!”

Shaking his head, “You always see the worst in people.”

Stephen nods, narrowing his eyes seriously. “Yeah, because people are the worst.”

“Well, people can be good.” Hosuh defends, his eyes glossy with defiance. “You just have to give them the chance to show you.”

They both stare at each other, neither going to admit defeat.

“Why can’t you just admit you were wrong?!” The shorter male roars. “I was nice, and now he’s fixing our apartment.”

Before the taller male has the opportunity to respond, Remy walks into the kitchen.

“I am working up an appetite in there.” He turns to face them for a moment. “Boy, I hope you don’t mind the smell of a real man in your room.” Beginning to walk back towards the hall, he chirps a final, “Let me know when you want me to start working on that table.”

“Okay.” A muttered reply.

Stephen looks at the other in a secret disbelief.

“What? He’s helping me fix my end table drawers. You know how many times I’ve tried to fix those darn things.”

A simple, “Yeah.” is his only response as he scrunches up his face and shakes his head.

His feet tap lightly as he walks down the hall, still shaking his head.

—

Laughing with Ann, Jay, and Dan, he hears footsteps.

Stephen turns his head as he sees Remy and Hosuh walk in from the hallway.

“So, I invited Remy over for dinner to thank him for all the work he’s been doing around the apartment. Who’s in?” He glances around, eyes wide with the usual oblivious puppy dog look.

Ann and Jay mumble excuses of places they have to be tonight. Dan shakes his head and offers a reason, while Stephen simply frowns and says ‘No.’

Remy’s eyes light up just barely. It’s in such a way that he can tell has more meaning to it. “So, I guess it’ll be just me and Hosuh.”

_No way am I letting this weirdo use Hosuh just because that idiot is too oblivious to realize his actual intentions._

Chuckling, Stephen glares darkly. “Oh, no, Remy.” Said male looks stunned. “I changed my mind, I’ll be there.” He cracks his knuckles, smile sour and cocky. “Just watching you.”

The pair stare at each other as if soldiers in a battle.

—

Hosuh sets down a bottle of wine and some bread. “Remy brought a bottle of.. this.”

The landlord speaks dryly. “I ferment things in my basement. I also make cheese.”

“You’re not drinking that Hosuh.”

_Stinking Stephen, people are nice, I’ll show you._

“Yes I am, Remy made it.” He stares at the other intensely. That is before he takes a sip and immediately spits it out. It tastes of kale and pineapple mixed with beef.

_Absolutely disgusting._

“Ah!”

Remy raises the bottle towards Stephen. “Think you can handle some, Stephen?”

Said male pushes the bottle away. “No thanks, someone has to stay somber to fight you later.”

Whispering sternly, “Be nice, how hard is it to be a bit open? Dip your toe in the pool of possibilities.” He smiles.

“Yeah Stephen, dip your toe.” Remy mocks, sipping his drink.

Trying to move the conversation along, Hosuh glances between the two of them. “You guys have a lot in common, Stephen went through a break-up last year that was really hard on him.”

Remy deadpans a, “Did you smell your girl on your sheets for months, until they were too soaked through with your own sweat and tears?”

A shake of the head. “No.”

“Did you punch out all the windows until you hit the wall and broke your hand? Did you go out, looking for companionship a little human warmth only to come to in the woods covered in animal blood?”

Cringing slightly, the purple-haired male nods, awkwardly. “In my own way.”

“Come here man.” The landlord leans in for a hug.

However, Stephen frowns tightly, his nose crinkling. His face contorts as he glares at Hosuh. When Remy lets go, he stares horrified.

—

The three laugh, laying across the L-shaped couch.

“Oh, man, tonight is just- I honestly didn't know if I'd ever enjoy myself again.

So thanks.”

Remy stands up, walking towards the hall. “Bathroom break.”

Hosuh scoots closer to Stephen. “See I was right.”

Stephen raises an eyebrow. “What do you mean you’re right?”  
  
“You’re wrong.”

His face contorts again. “You see the way, he's buttering me up so he can move in on you?”

“Why can’t you just admit you were wrong?” Hosuh pouts.

Gesturing madly, he whisper shouts. “How have you lived this long on your own?!”

Motioning to the hallway, “There is no part of that man that wants to sleep with me.”

“He’s been creeping on you all night-”

“No he hasn’t-”

“I’m serious-”

Stephen stops, a look of disgust taking over his face. The silver-haired male turns and sees Remy has walked back in, no pants. He is simply in his underwear.

Eyes going round, Hosuh hears his own voice crack. “Hey Remy, what happened to your pants?”

Said male looks between the two of them. “I’ve never done a threesome.”

_Oh god. Stephen- He was right- But also- Oh god. Oh GOD._

“That’s what we’re doing here right?”

Staring in absolute dread, Stephen scrunches up his nose and shakes his head slightly.

“This I did not expect.”

Hosuh grabs his arm and pulls him into the hall.

“I love watching you be wrong, Hosuh.”

Said male frowns slightly and gestures crazily. “I might’ve been a bit off about Remy, but people are generally good, and I am not wrong about that.”

The other’s voice shakes with frustration. “Hosuh, people are jerks.”

Stumbling for words, he purses his lips. “He is hurting from his divorce..”

A look of pure incredulity washes over his face. “Are you still making excuses for this guy?”

Pausing for a moment, he motions to Hosuh’s closed bedroom door which Remy is currently behind. “Well, look, if you feel so bad, then just get in there.” He raises an eyebrow, his eyes screaming ‘You wanna try me bitch?’ With a small smirk, he finishes with a, “Just dip your toe into the pool of possibility.”

He clicks the door open and Remy, who is stretching his leg oddly on the shorter male’s bed, gazes over.   
  


“Hey, Remy, let’s get weird and toss that ball around, huh?”

Hosuh pulls the door shut again, while Stephen mutters a hoax “So turned on.”

Eyes still wider than Kim Kardashian’s hips, he looks at him in disbelief. “Okay, you would seriously have a threesome with that man just to get me to admit that I’m wrong?”

The other shrugs. “Oh I think we could do a lot worse than Remy. He’s got strong arms.” He smirks in utter amusement.

They glare. Eyes locked, world frozen in fear it might burn to a crisp if not from the sheer enthusiasm in both person’s glare.

Feeling a sickening nausea at the thought, the silver-haired male pulls off his socks. Heat thunders up his cheeks, a flush creeping up his face at a speedy pace. Thump thump. Every nerve and thought in his being stands on end, not agreeing with his following words,

“Let’s have a threesome.”

Stephen’s eyes widen and his jaw drops, before he grates it uneasily. A full splash of disgust covers his face as Hosuh opens the door and walks inside the room.

As stubborn as the other male, he groans and slaps both his cheeks before entering the room as well.

Remy stands in front of them both, looking completely ready. “All right, so a ménage à trois is about three of us.” He motions around in a circle between them.

“Sure..”

“Trois "ménage-ing" fully.” He looks around.

Hosuh gulps and nods. “Okay.”

The purple-haired male glances at him and gives a stare of ‘Are you seriously doing this?’ “This is happening with this guy. This is happening right now, Hosuh.” He points a finger at the landlord wildly.

He narrows his eyes stubbornly. “Yeah.”

“So it's gonna get even more uncomfortable. We have to keep talking with each other. Around and communicating-- Let's get some relax music going.” He turns to the side of the room as Stephen talks over him with a,

  
“Great idea, great idea. Okay?”

He then hovers next to Hosuh and whispers violently. “Thank you.” He mutters in sarcasm.

The other whisper yells. “Why can’t you just admit that he is a good person and so is everyone else?”

Furiously whispering back, “We're about to have a ménage a trois because you won't admit you're wrong.” Both murmur over each other.

“I’m just saying that he isn’t a bad person-”

“You’re out of your damn mind-”

Both shut up when they hear the faint instrumental of Send Me On My Way by Rusted Root.

The pair dance slightly in place, each movement awkward.

“Yeah, get into it.” Remy encourages.

Voice filled to the brim with hidden sarcasm, “Oh, I am  _so_ into this. I can't wait until we're all "ménage-ing.”

He raises his voice a bit. “Are you into this, Hosuh?”

Voice cracking slightly, said boy nods. “Yeah.”

“Say your wrong-”

‘No, turn this up. This is great.” He almost scowled, even though the other could see the obvious embarrassment and nervousness welling up inside him.

“Say it’s over and it’s over.”

Remy grabs their hands and gets real close. “Let’s get this started.” He pulls their arms over each other. “Okay, you two get us started.”

Both their faces pale.   
  


_ME AND STEPHEN?!_

Nope. Nope. Nope. More swirling in his stomach.

“Me and Hosuh get it started?” Stephen repeats, his voice tuned in such a way it sounds as if he thinks he misheard.

“Yeah. Alright go ahead-”

“Us two, getting it started.” Hosuh chokes, his voice cracking immensely.

The pair hold onto each other’s arms and sway back and forth in an awkward motion.

“You know what to do. Breathe into each other.”

“Oh yeah, Hosuh.” Stephen smiles fakely.

“I’m not here.” Remy backs up.

Smile turning a little more coy, “Relax into the  _menage_.”

A frown. “Let’s get this started, Stephen.”

Eyes wide. “You’re doing this?”

“Yes.”

“Come together.” The landlord commentates.

“Are you doing this?” Reflect.

“Cause’ I’m- Yes-”

“I will do it-”

“All right, okay-”

“We’re gonna do this-”

“Then let’s do this-” Stephen’s voice nearly cracks itself.

“Stephen, I will do this.” Hosuh states firmly.

A smile. A freaking cocky smile. “Say that you’re wrong and it’s over.”

“I’m not wrong-”  
  
“Hosuh, you can’t do this, we both know that. But I can. So just admit it.” He says it with a tad bit of concern hidden deep in the depths of his voice.

“Okay.” The shorter male shakes. “Let’s do this, Stephen.” He glares loosely. “I can do this-”

“Let’s do it, Hosuh.” Stephen cups his face and leans in unexpectedly. He nears and as his face is a centimeter or two away from his face, Hosuh shoves him back.

“No, okay! Fine, I admit it, I’m wrong.” He yells, eyes growing with the beginnings of shaky, frustrated and scared tears.

“Yes! Yes!” The taller male cheers.

Remy stands in confusion.

“I’m sorry, Remy.”  
  


“What we’re not doing this?”

Jay peaks though the cracked open door. “Woah, what is going on in here?”

The landlord grabs his stuff. “All right, I am not ready for a four-way. That’s uh.. I’m.. I’m out.”

He leaves.

—

They each sit at the table with empty glasses of either wine or juice.

Stephen breaks the ice. “To be honest, I’m kind of riding a weird ego high right now.”

Jay stands up and walks into the kitchen.

“Why didn’t you tell me four people couldn’t live in this apartment?” The silver-haired male slumps. “If we’re gonna do a shenanigan, I’m fine with shenanigans. As long as no one gets hurt.”

The blonde-haired male flicks the light switch above the dining table and the bulbs flickers explosively. It makes a loud popping nose.

“We’re gonna have to live with this, right?”  
  
Both the other two nod. “Yep.” “Absolutely.”

They sip their drinks once again.


End file.
